"Ashes to ashes and dust to dust..."
Attrition
“A man can be blind
He can be deaf
He can be lame.
But as long as he breathes
His heart will forever feel
That joy or that pain;
And the memories will always remain.
<3”- L.Ling
Freshly squeezed from the screaming torment of broken love,
Scalding acrimony eats away at the vulnerable flesh.
The caries in my heart;
Decayed, rotten and necrotic
leak molten guilt, shame and disappointment;
Corrupting and poisoning once sweet and passionate blood
into viscous venom and simmering discontent.
It sparks pathetic and impulsive convulsions
To somehow ease the pain
As the circulating bitterness boils and scars
Leaving nothing but unsightly cicatrix to line my veins
that were once messengers of happiness and warmth.
The caustic slur that oozes so freely from your tongue
trained to humour and caress another’s;
The husky and acerbic bark of hatred and rejection from your voice
conditioned to sweetly resonate in a perfect harmony;
The cold and rough push from the arm
that only showed you security and solace.
The callousing and stony petrification of our hearts
that knew only to love;
The vigorous snuffing of raw passion.
Now we sit watching the maroon ocean in the sky
clutching onto some imaginary solace and
pondering about could-beens.
Dreams, fantasies; illusions.
With trembling fingertips we try connect the shards of a beautiful nocturne of our love
with the ink of our imaginations
but soon crushed beneath reality’s harsh gavel;
soon mauled by the wolves of circumstance
soon crippled by unfortunate fate.
There is nothing anymore.
Amongst the violent high altitude wind that whips at my hair
The protesting indignity in my heart that beats forcefully on my chest
The searing fatigue in my arms that is forcing me off this barnacle infested concrete ledge
I feel at peace.
The anger and the ecstasy
The bitterness and the jealousy
The fiery arguments and cooling embraces
For all it was worth….
I plummet.
Into the cathartic embrace of the sea I am cleansed and
from the womb of the ocean I am reborn.
Floating now on a rippling landscape of blue marble
Closed are my eyes and spread are my limbs.
With deep gulps of a salty breeze
I surrender myself to the pull of the sea.
Apart from the delicate splish splash and the lone and rhythmic beat of my heart,
the world was silent.
For once in my life, that sear of your absence beside me, ceased.
It melted into the infiniteness of the ocean and was buried in the shifting sea bed,
Never to be seen again.
For one moment, I was in heaven;
A place where there was no ‘us’, no arguments, no injustice
No fake sympathy, no love;
Just me.
With my solitary figure at the mercy of the tides,
I drift indifferently to the world as it indifferently sneers at me.
For once in a long time I feel at peace;
For once in a long time I am grateful.
