Poem- "Devotion"

Devotion
A work by L.L.

Without you;
Put simply, it hurts.


Your eyes, your nose, your hair,
Your smile, Your laugh, Your hips,
Your kiss….
Everything that you are;
Is everything i need
To sustain this faceless existence.

Thief of my breath
Pupeteer of my heart
Purger of my desolation….

If you only knew.


When you leave me,
You cut my cord of security; ecstasy; hope.
Leaving me to drift helplessly;
To struggle and flail in a monsoon of rocky despair and isolation;
Memories of past trivial small talk
my buoy.


When you leave me,
The thought of you pollutes my mind.
An ever encompassing cloud shrouds my soul;
Consuming my judgement,
Commandeering my focus,
Shuffling my morals,
Sparking my lust;
My stasis from time’s cold and firm grasp;
Forever young.


When you leave me,
My heart plummets to my stomach
Crashing into a pool of caustic pain and suffering.
My soul burns and corrodes
Adding another deepening wound
At every splinter of time without you.
The scars are cauterized by a sympathetic passing glance;
Blots of ink that time can only fade
But never erase.

Sometimes I stand outside in the rain.
Sometimes for hours on end
Watching you;
A stationary figure immersed in a
moving sea of scampering people.
Pouring and drenched and Patient;
Hopefully you’d spare a wave.
It hurts more every time
Why do I even bother?


I must stand aside in the dark and wait.
I can’t ever let you know
I must handicap our relationship
Prevent it from blossoming
Let you grow and move on
Let others take you away from me, my love.
It’s for the better,
It’s not you….


In the pouring rain,
All I can do is stand in bitter silence and pathetic longing,
While my tears and dreams are swept away.
Because no matter how hard I try
You and I can never be.


It hurts.