"Boys need to steal the key from under the pillow of his sleeping mother"- Robert Bly

Hey guys, I came across this quote through english hw and I found it really interesting and insightful in the themes it explores; independence and our constant quests for identity. If you want, have a read of my discussion I wrote, hope you enjoy :) (PS: It's quite a read so get comfortable :))

Bly's quote is an exploration of a child's growing quest for independance that comes with a growing age. The physical act of "stealing" is rebellious and frowned upon; possibly being a new source of exhilaration and exploration which children crave at such a young age.

The very fact it is from their mother, the breathing reason the child exists in the first place, amplifies the gravity of this act. The children are betraying the trust of the most powerful figure in their lives and thus demonstrating a thirst for independence and control. They reveal an unwillingness to be controlled and dominated by committing such an ungrateful act which they believe may carry positive repercussions.

This 'probing' of their authorial space is a thirst never quenched if allowed to continue and mutate into the behavioral scope of "delinquency". However, by testing these boundaries, they learn through their parents' usually negative reactions where they truly stand and the correlation of between challenging and disrespectful behavior and the unpleasant consequences that follow it.

Although it may seem brutal and painful to punish a child, it is a crucial stage of learning. The wisdom of the old saying "you can lead a horse to water, but you cannot make it drink" is especially true in this case. As a parent, your role is to guide and provide the best conditions for a child's future. However, the child's existence and behavior is in their hands. You may be the catalysts in their development, but it is their will that makes them who they are.

It is only through personal experience will they learn what is good and bad. Only pain and suffering (of a safe limit) will serve as a constant reminder forever in their minds that will shape and mould their behaviour into a form hopefully more acceptable and socially desirable.

In terms of the quote, the rebellion of stealing this object is literally the "key" from which the child can learn his morals and thus a stepping stone in unlocking the complexity of becoming a more respectable person.

~L. Ling